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A Parenting Book that Makes Me Happy to be a Mom – Finally!
About a week ago, I received a copy of comedian Elizabeth Beckwith’s spoof on parenting book Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation
I am so over the seemingly endless supply of oh-so-serious books on growing, birthing, and raising children. I’ve found that I leave those books feeling guilty and inadequate, especially those I read about childbirth and breast feeding. I decided to no longer read them. A prime example of this was when Allison was extremely colicky. After days and days of trying whatever I could think of help her, I was at the point where I wanted to jump out the window. I put her in her crib and picked up a book on breast feeding and caring for infants published by a pro-breast feeding organization. In it I found the tiniest of sections about the subject. I wish I had chucked the book against the wall as soon as I read the first line in that section. It went something like this: “I’ve never raised a baby with colic, but… ” In the end it basically said, “Don’t put your baby in the crib and walk away. What if the very next thing you try is the thing brings your baby the comfort needed?” Talk about guilt and manipulation! How could it possibly be beneficial for my children to bring them up when I feel that way?
While I’m sure that it is never the intent of the author, I truly believe that some of those pregnancy and parenting books do more harm than good. There are those in which the agenda becomes more important than the individual. This is not the case with Raising the Perfect Child Through Guilt and Manipulation. I just knew that it would be right up my alley when I read the prologue about her childhood and how her parents raised her. As a mother of daughters 5 and 7, I can take it all to heart. The scene where Elizabeth’s father talks her out of a trip to Mexico without forbidding her to go gives me hope of making it through my daughter’s teen years. I wish I had the moxie to put my thoughts about parenting on paper like Elizabeth Beckwith has. Reading through it I am reminded of a pregnancy book, The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy
I haven’t finished reading this book yet, but after laughing my way through the first three chapters (and bits and pieces of the rest), I feel so much better about myself and my parenting. While guilt and manipulation may work to make your children behave better (ha!), Elizabeth realizes that it doesn’t do much at all for parents. There is no need to feel miserable in the most important role of one’s life. When it comes to parenting, I’m definitely on Team Beckwith.
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#201 ~ Her Fearful Symmetry
Her Fearful Symmetry
Before I begin…
I do not include spoilers in my reviews as a general rule. I don’t say anything in this review that in and of itself is a spoiler, but I do touch on common themes between Her Fearful Symmetry and The Time Traveler’s Wife that might tell you more than you want to know about Her Fearful Symmetry going in. Please don’t read my third paragraph if this would impact your reading of this novel.
My review…
Audrey Niffenegger’s second novel tells the story of two sets of twins a generation apart. Elspeth and Edie Noblin were identical twins living in London until, under mysterious circumstances surrounding Edie’’s husband, they parted company never to see each other. Edie has identical twin daughters as well. When Elspeth dies, she leaves her flat and much of the remainder of her estate to Valentina and Julia, the nieces she never knew. There were a couple of interesting conditions: they must live in the flat together for a year before they could sell it and their parents must never under any circumstances enter the flat. Valentina and Julia were in their early 20s and didn’t know what they wanted to do with their lives. Julia was the dominant twin and she convinced Valentina to move with her to London. The separation from their parents and home in Chicago only heightened Valentina’s misgivings. Will the move to London keep them close or tear them apart forever?
What makes this novel stand out for me is how rich it is in place and character. Almost every place her characters spend time is painted in vivid detail. Even now, nearly a month after finishing this novel, I can see the dust on the piano in Elspeth’s apartment. I can close my eyes and watch the animals scurrying around as Robert gives a tour through Highgate Cemetery. I start to feel claustrophobic as I watch Julia walking through the piles of boxes on her way to Martin’s kitchen. Martin’s apartment was a near perfect representation of his mind and the state of his life and relationships. He is the creator of complicated crossword puzzles and life is falling apart because of the hold his OCD has taken over him. He most definitely would make sense out of life through patterns and counting. He would go through the tasks of wrapping up and boxing those things that remind him of painful things yet keep those boxes close at hand. The friendship he develops with Julia is among my favorite in a long time.
The Time Traveler’s Wife is one of the first books I reviewed on my blog. It was also one of the most memorable. I enjoyed it, but there were niggling things about it. I can say much the same about Her Fearful Symmetry. In The Time Traveler’s Wife, what bothered me the most was the inequity I perceived in Henry and Claire’s relationship. Although it was not through Henry’s choice that he was able to travel through time, he did tell Claire as a young child that they would ultimately get married. From that moment forward, Henry had the upper hand. Henry could live his life as he pleased while he wasn’t traveling time while Claire knew her destiny before her adult life began. Where is the choice in that? Likewise, Her Fearful Symmetry also has a character with the upper hand in a familial relationship using otherworldly communication to manipulate someone she should love and protect at all costs to get what suits her needs. As with Henry, whether the outcome was her intention all along is unclear. That is what I find most thought-provoking. At times this frustrates me like nothing else and at others it makes me want to pick the novel back up to see what I might have missed.
This is one of the most difficult reviews for me to write. Her Fearful Symmetry does not deliver it’s ending to readers tied up in a neat bow. There is so much to be unraveled and puzzled through. On the one hand I loved and adored this novel. While it took me some time to warm up to the twins and Robert, I adored Martin almost instantly and found his character and his relationship with Julia beautiful. On the other hand, the ending of the novel has been nagging at me since I finished it nearly four weeks ago. I don’t feel at rest with it yet. Perhaps I never will. There is much to be explored and I am quite certain that many papers will be written about Elspeth, Julia, and Valentina. I want nothing more than to study this novel with my favorite college professors.
++++++++
Scribner has some wonderful resources, such as a crossword puzzle you can download – I’ll warn you, it’s difficult. They also have this video of Audrey Niffenegger:
Her Fearful Symmetry is also on Facebook! Click here for links to reviews, more videos, author photos (very fun), and a chance to win either an ARC copy or a hardcover edition just by becoming a fan before October 1st.
+++++
This is my first review for the R.I.P. Challenge.
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To buy this novel, click here
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- Books of The Times: 2 Generations of Twins, a Family Secret and a Soul Unable to Rest in Peace (nytimes.com)
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- Her Fearful Symmetry (nytimesbooks.blogspot.com)
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Please Help Find Makenzie
I just found out today that Makenzie Williamson, the 17-year-old daughter of one of my co-workers, went missing last week. How Jolynne was even able to come in to office today is beyond me. They are uncertain as to whether she ran away or was lured away. She is a young woman looking forward to Homecoming and all the other things that teenage girls do and she needs to come home.
Please read Makenzie’s flyer. It contains the details about her and the person she may be with. Jolynne said that she may be in California and that this week is critical. I know I have readers throughout the country. I ask that you pray for safe return and keep an eye out for her.
If you do see her, please call (540)562-3265 and refer to NCIC Case # 09-060057.
Makenzie, your mother loves you and misses you so terribly. She wants her to come home. We all do.
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National Book Festival!
I’m packing up tonight to head out early in the morning to travel to the National Book Festival in Washington, D.C.! I cannot wait. After an exceptionally tough week at work and being treated for strep throat, this is exactly what I need. I’m making plans to listen to John Irving, Judy Blume, Jeannette Wells, and David Wroblewski speak. I’m going to try to get John Irving and possibly David Wroblewski’s autographs, but after my experience last year, I know that anything might happen.
In addition to a wonderful day of books and authors, I am going to get the opportunity to meet some of my wonderful book blogging friends! That, to me, is almost more exciting than the books and the authors. So many of them have become my friends and I can’t wait until I can say they’re my friends IRL as well. We’ll all be celebrating at one book festival or another (there’s one in Baltimore this weekend, too!) and then meeting up for dinner at 6. You are sure to hear all about my experience on Sunday.
A special thanks to my dear husband Danny for taking one for the team and staying home with the girls tomorrow. I owe you one!
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Ruined Winners!
What a great contest! After tallying all of your entries, I counted 131 separate entries. Thank you so much for sharing what scares you. I had a great time reading your comments. Here are the five winners:
Sandy (comment 27)
Raelena
Shawna Lewis
Congratulations! I am sending out an email. I’ll forward your mailing addresses along as soon as I have them all.
The Lace Reader Winner
My “It’s time to pick a winner” helper is slacking off once again. I completely forgot to draw a winner for my second copy of The Lace Reader. Sorry about that! It got lost in the BBAW shuffle I’m afraid. I came across this copy after reshelving my books after taking the pictures for my True Confessions post. Yet one more thing to feel guilty about. LOL!
Via List Randomizer, the winner is:
Jemima from The Reading Journey!
Congratulations! I hope you enjoy this even half as much as I did. Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send this on your way.
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- #197 ~ The Lace Reader ~ Book Tour and Giveaway (literatehousewife.com)
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Literate Housewife’s True Confessions
My name is Literate Housewife and I am a book addict. My eyes are bigger than my reading capacity and I have difficulty with the word “No.” I have more books in my house than I’ll probably ever read. I feel as though I’m starting to reach critical mass here. Three things specifically have got me thinking about this recently:
- Diana at The Raabe Review tagged me to discuss what is on my desk – I don’t really have a desk, but what I have that amounts to a desk would be very, very embarrassing to discuss. Shame can be a good thing though. It’s a powerful motivator to improve.
- The last daily topic for BBAW was to discuss what you liked about your blog and your goals for the upcoming year. My knowledge of my TBR pile weighed heavily into that post.
- Swapna threw down the gauntlet at me, so to speak, with her Clear Off Your Shelves Challenge posted on Sunday.
I simply must do something about it. So, in preparation for joining Swapna’s challenge and to fulfill Diana’s tag, I have done the following – taken pictures of my TBR pile broken down into three categories: Unsolicited, Requested, and Prize/Gift. I was also going to do the same thing for purchased books, but there’s just way too many to even consider taking a picture. Here are the pictures:
The Unsolicited Pile
These books have come to me over the past year or so. Some of them I hope to read. Others will end up being prizes at some point.
Here’s a closer look at each stack:
That’s 82 books – almost as much as I read in one year.
The Requested Pile
Thankfully there aren’t quite as many books in this pile, but Wow! What was I thinking!
Here’s a closer look at each stack:
That’s 46 books – minus Isabel Allende’s memoir, Bright Shiny Morning (were in the unsolicited pile that I didn’t put back apparently), and White Tiger (I bought for myself). That’s a half-year’s reading for me.
The Prize/Gift Pile
This is the smallest of the three, but oh, so, fun!
Here’s a closer look at these piles:
Only 16 books in this pile, but they are 16 books I’d so love to read right now.
That is 144 books folks. If I don’t buy another book or pick up anything not contained within these pictures, it will take me a year and a half to read all of this. I don’t see that happening. So what am I going to do about it?
Last week, I went to lunch with Jaime from Confessions of a Bibliophile. She’s the only book blogger I know who lives/works near me and spending my lunch break with her is quite a treat. We don’t do it nearly enough, Jaime! We discussed balancing our to review books and our own personal books and I like how she does it – she has her books in piles (hence my pictures). She rotates through each pile in order. I like that idea because she feels like she gets a variety that way. Beginning in December, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Why December? Well, I will be joining Swapna’s Clear Your Shelves Challenge which will include books in my R.I.P. Challenge. I also have a theme picked out for November that will work well into Swapna’s challenge. I’m also hoping to mine through my unsolicited books and decide once and for all what I want to giveaway and what I want to keep for my reading piles.
My eventual goal is to reach the magic 1 for 1 balance in my reading. Maybe I won’t completely get there. Maybe I will get to 2 review books for every 1 library/personal book and be happy. I’ll just play that by ear. In the meantime, these piles will give me something concrete to look at when I am considering whether to request a review book.
You now see my shame in almost it’s full glory. If you saw my personal books you’d probably have me admitted to the local mental institution. Do they let you read there all day? Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing… In any event, take pity on me and allow me to make the valiant attempt at chipping away at these piles over 2010. I hope to give regular updates on my progress.
Do you have any true confessions of the literary kind that you would care to share?
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BBAW – The Serial Giveaway Winners Announced!
Thank you so much to everyone who visited my site this week and entered my contest. This was a lot of fun for me and by far my most successful giveaway. Now I’m going to have to start planning next year’s giveaway. LOL!
Each of the winnners need to send me their mailing address and I’ll sned the books on their way. Please note that I am going to the National Book Festival on 9/26. I will try to get to the post office at some point this week on my lunch break, but I may not be able to mail the packages before NBF. I’ll do my best, though. 
Also, if I have more than one international winner, I’ll mail the books out in the order that I’m listing the winners. This is the same order in which I listed the books in the giveaway post as well. If your books are mailed right away, I’ll let you know by email when they have been shipped.
Okay, now for the fun stuff! Using List Randomizer, I entered in the names of all the entries for each book. The first name returned won the contest. Here is the winner of each series:
Complete Twilight Series with Team Jacob Book Bag
Karen at Booking with Bingo!
Congratulations, Karen! I hope that you enjoy your prize! Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send the book on your way!
The Hunger Games and Catching Fire
Lillian!
Congratulations, Lillian! I hope you and your family enjoy your prize! Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send the book on your way!
The Complete Betsy-Tacy Series (high school & beyond)
Joann!
Congratulations, Joann! I hope you and your five daughters (wow!) enjoy your prize! Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send the book on your way!
The First Two Books in the Atlantis Series
Shellie at Layers of Thought!
Congratulations, Joann! I hope you enjoy your prize! Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send the book on your way!
The First Two Books in the Iron Elves Series
Michael Herdegen!
Congratulations, Mike! I hope you this series is right up your alley! Please send me your mailing address and I’ll send the book on your way!
Goodbye, BBAW… Hello, New Blogging Year!
It is hard to believe, but BBAW is coming to a close. I want to give a special thanks to all those who made this week possible. (Amy, you are still my Queen!) I’ve met some great new bloggers and felt so much love throughout the week. I am really looking forward to the year ahead.
I have a lot of BBAW posts to catch up on and plan on doing that over the weekend. Things in my personal life got very hectic this week and kept me from commenting and reading as much as I wanted. The girls came down with strep throat, work was quite stressful, and some extended family had to undergo unexpected surgery (thank you so much for your prayers).
Have there been a huge number of excellent contests this week or what? I’m really excited to announce the winners of my BBAW Serial Giveaway! There is still a few hours left to enter, so act quickly. :)
Without further ado, here is what the BBAW asked book bloggers to discuss on the last day:
Hopefully this week you’ve been visiting a bunch of new book blogs and maybe noticing some things about them you’d like to try yourself. Or maybe you’ve just had some ideas for improvements to your blog you’d like to put into place or new ideas for content. But there’s also probably something you really love about your blog, too, something you’re really proud of. It’s time to show off! Tell us and this is really important, in 50 words or less what you love best about your blog! And then in 50 words or less where you want your blog to be by the next BBAW! Ready? GO!
50 words each, eh? Here goes….
The Good
What I love about my blog is that it embodies the room above the garage I’ve always dreamed of having since childhood. It is a place I can be and express myself among book loving friends. Here, I am creative, engaged, challenged, and content. With my blog, I feel whole.
Ooh! 50 words on the dot!
The Goal
In the upcoming year, I want to work on balancing my reading. I enjoy reading ARCs and new releases. Still, my own books are lingering on my shelves. I want to work toward a one to one relationship between review books and my own, including using the library more often.
Ooh! 50 words again! Am I on a roll or what?
Until Next Time
This brings BBAW to a close here at The Literate Housewife Review. Thanks again to everyone for their kind words, visits, and support. I look forward to doing the same for you in the upcoming year. This world wouldn’t be the same without you.
#200 ~ The Shadow of the Wind
The BBAW theme for today is highlighting a book that you have read based upon the recommendation of a book blog. As it so happens, one of my favorite books of the summer came highly recommended from all over the book blogging community. Conversations with various people on Twitter prompted me to buy the book, but I saw this book reviewed on several book blogs as well. I knew as soon as I read the daily themes that I would hold on to this review for today. What I didn’t know at that time was that this would be even that much more special to me because this review is
!!!!!!!! MY 200th REVIEW !!!!!!!!
since beginning my book blog! What started as a goal to read a mere 52 books in 2007 is now so much more. I thank all of my readers and fellow book bloggers for their recommendations and their support. I do not think I would have read and reviewed as many books in such a short time (for me, not Swapna – LOL!) had it not been for this community of readers.
The Shadow of the Wind
by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
I love Gothic literature. When Daniel was taken into the Cemetery of Forgotten Books by his father, I knew that I would love this book as much as I loved The Angel’s Game. My instincts were correct. Daniel selected The Shadow of the wind by Julian Carax during that visit and thus began a love of reading and an unrelenting search for more books by Carax, which were nearly impossible to find because someone was systematically burning all of Carax’s books. Daniel is prepared to do whatever is necessary uncover the mystery surrounding this book. He finds that simply by having the book in his possession puts him and those with whom he is close in danger from sources he would never before have imagined.
I think that the Cemetery of Forgotten Books is one of my favorite literary locations. It is a safe harbor for books that may otherwise be forgotten. Who among us would not want to lose ourselves among seemingly endless corridors filled with books that are otherwise lost to the world? Knowing you could save only one book to bring back with you into your life, how would you choose? Once you’ve made your choice, imagine how much your heart would pound as you read it. What book could be as special to you? Imagine if someone tried to buy it from you. Would you let them? What if someone tried to take it from you by force, if necessary, with the express purpose of destroying it? Would you fight for it? If so, you understand Daniel’s character and you’ll be invested in his story like no other.
Although Daniel is the main character and I enjoyed him very much, I loved Fermín Romero de Torres. Fermín is the vagab0nd that Daniel saved from the street. He is quirky and unreliable. He could be Daniel’s salvation or Achilles heal. He adds laughter mixed with anxiety. Fermín is the reason why I could never watch a film adaption of this book. If his character was marred in any way, I would be crushed. He is one of my all-time favorite secondary characters in literature. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of any other character to match his place in my reader’s heart. He makes me glad to be human.
If ever there was a Gothic author who appealed to book enthusiasts, it is Carols Ruiz Zafón. Both The Angel’s Game and The Shadow of the Wind are gripping Gothic mysteries. Where David from The Angel’s Game is an author, Daniel is a reader. For both, there is danger in every corner. The peril in which they find themselves because of reading and writing amplifies the importance of both in this world. If such things were without power, they would never be at risk from characters like Fumero or Andreas Corelli. So, if I ever make my way to Barcelona, I will see the Barcelona of Daniel and David. I, a woman who doesn’t normally give in to the supernatural or fantastical, will keep alert for the Cemetery of Forgotten Books. If I find it, I may never return.
++++
In case you’re not familiar with it, Fyrefly created a custom Google search of Book Blogs. It is an invaluable too. If you’re interested to see what book bloggers out there are saying about The Shadow of the Wind, click here for that exact search. If you’ve never used this tool and would like to take it for a test drive, here is the link to the search itself.
****
To buy this book, click here
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Book Blogger Con
Have you heard about the 1st Annual Book Blogger Convention that will be held in NYC during the BEA? You should check it out. I know it will be a fantastic experience. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend due to family obligations, but I'll be trolling blogs for up to the minute news.
WE Magazine’s A Woman Blogger to Watch
Literate Challenges
What's in a Name? 3
Random Reading Challenge
