#317 ~ You Don’t Love This Man

You Don’t Love This Man by Don DeWeese

Published by: Harper Perennial

Published on: March 2011

Page Count: 336

Genre: Fiction

My Reading Format: Review copy sent to me for my participation in this book tour.

Available Formats: Paperback, eBook

tlc-logo-resizedToday it is my great pleasure to be Don DeWeese’s host on his TLC Book Tour.  This tour is to celebrate his novel, You Don’t Love This Man.

I have a lot of fun working as a tour host for TLC Book Tours.  They always have great books and authors on tour.  Check out their website for more information on this tour and the others that they are hosting.

My Review

Paul, a middle aged manager of the bank he’s worked at since college, is at a crossroads and it’s the day before his only daughter’s wedding. His marriage to Miranda’s mother Sandra has ended in divorce and Miranda is planning to marry Grant, a successful business man who has been Paul’s friend since before Miranda was even conceived. He doesn’t feel like an equal part of his daughter’s life and isn’t convinced that she should marry Grant at all. As he’s sitting at his ex-wife’s kitchen table feeling like a useless accessory, he finds out that his bank has been robbed and his daughter is missing. Paul feels obligated to check in on work, but is worried about his daughter. He agrees to Sharon’s request to check on her. From there, his day unfolds in snatches of memories of the past and bouts of coming to terms with his current reality.

In some ways I found Paul to be a kindred spirit. There is one scene where he’s thinking about one thing while he’s working and he eventually becomes unsure of where his thoughts end and his memories of what he was doing at work begin. I can very much see myself in that situation. There are definitely times when my imagination becomes very active and things start to blend and bleed into each other. While I’ve never had personal experience with bank robberies, I could very easily understand Paul’s growing cynicism about what is important on the day of his daughter’s wedding.  All along Paul’s story there were chuckles of recognition from me. I very much enjoyed Paul’s sense of humor, even when under the most stress during that fateful day.

With the exception of Paul and Catherine, his subordinate at the bank, I can’t really say that I liked the rest of the characters in You Don’t Love This Man that much. I truly didn’t understand how Sandra became the mother she did during Miranda’s teen years. Grant was never anything more than a charming but thoroughly self-centered man. His interest in Paul’s appearance was more to make him an acceptable friend. Miranda is likewise selfish. In that sense, I could see how she and Grant got together. I do believe that Miranda loved Paul, which to me is her saving grace. That I didn’t like those other characters is important. They all betrayed Paul and I found myself quite protective of him.

As one’s children grow and you yourself begin to age, the cycle of life becomes all the more apparent. You also notice the ways in which history repeats itself. Try as you might, it’s all impossible to avoid. Learning to stand up for and love yourself is the best armor you have in the fight of life. That’s what You Don’t Love This Man is all about.  I’m not entirely convinced that all of what transpired on the day of Miranda’s wedding could actually have taken place given the timeline, but it’s a small issue in an otherwise interesting read. I really enjoyed it.

Dan’s DeWeese’s Tour Stops

Tuesday, March 1st: Colloquium

Thursday, March 3rd: Book Club Classics!

Tuesday, March 8th: Sara’s Organized Chaos

Wednesday, March 9th: Booksie’s Blog

Thursday, March 10th: Boarding in My Forties

Monday, March 14th: Rundpinne

Tuesday, March 15th: Amy’s Creative Side

Monday, March 21st: StephTheBookworm

Tuesday, March 22nd: Stephany Writes

Thursday, March 24th: Teresa’s Reading Corner

Wednesday, March 30th: Books Are Like Candy Corn

Thursday, March 31st: Lisa’s Yarns



  • At 2011.03.17 13:35, bermudaonion (Kathy) said:

    Carl and I had a conversation about something similar to this not long ago. It’s important to like yourself and each other, because once the kids are gone, you’re all that you have. This book sounds like a winner.

    Read more from bermudaonion (Kathy)

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    • At 2011.03.18 09:55, Heather J. @ TLC Book Tours said:

      I think that many of us can identify with Paul in a lot of ways – he’s sort of an ‘everyman’ I think.

      Thanks for being on this tour. I’m glad that the timeline issues weren’t enough to really take away from your enjoyment of the book.

      Read more from Heather J. @ TLC Book Tours

      Kris Rafferty, author of CAUGHT BY YOU, on tour March 12th – 18th

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